it's been a while....

Welp, I’ve been slacking on the blog. That’s ok…right? A lot has happened since I last posted. We have a lot to catch up on…

I spent last month on a Mom/Newborn unit. There, I saw both a vaginal and a cesarean birth for the first time.  It was amazing. Seriously. Birth is amazing. The first birth that I was present for was a cesarean birth for a third-time mom. I was there to help the baby’s nurse. When the baby came, I was absolutely dumbfounded. All of a sudden, there was another human in the room. It literally brought tears to my eyes. The doc pulled the little guy out and handed him to the nurse, who looked at me and said, “AMANDA helloooooo!! We’re working here!” This made everyone in the room laugh and snapped me back to reality, where we dried the baby off, warmed him up and gave him to dad.

At one point during that month I had the opportunity to participate in a Code Blue in the emergency department. A patient came in, transported by ambulance, in cardiac arrest. In the emergency room, I stood like a fly on the wall watching doctors, nurses, and techs work together to resuscitate the patient. It was incredible to watch. Everyone worked together, and even though it was a very high-energy situation, it was not chaotic. The nurse manager spotted me, noticed I was a student (the name tag and Regis University scrubs are a dead give-away), pulled me to stand next to a tech and said, “YOU. You are next to do chest compressions.” So I did. For two exhausting minutes. We’re told in basic life support classes that CPR is exhausting, and ohmygosh. That is not a joke. Between compressions, nurses check a pulse. Then a tech stepped up behind me while I caught my breath. As we went to switch after another two minutes, they checked for a pulse, and … there was one. Truly one of the most exhilarating, mind-blowing things I have ever experienced. The patient was transferred to ICU not too long after that.

Currently, I am in a Community/Public Health clinical. Very different from any clinical I’ve been in so far. I’m in three different outpatient settings: a diabetic education clinic, a wound care clinic, and doing home visits to new moms. The pace is immensely slower than before, not that I would say that it’s boring. These nurses get to spend more time with their patients. They get to see more intimate parts of their lives, spend time in their homes, and see outcomes happen over a span of months and years. It really is a special area of healthcare that I could see myself heading toward sometime down the road… maybe after a few years in some high-energy situation like the ones above.  In this clinical we also got to attend a meeting with the public health department’s top communicable disease nurse and epidemiologist about plans in case of disaster.  This was especially interesting considering this little thing called EBOLA that is on everyone’s radar.

So that’s where I’m at now. Half-way done with nursing school!

the gap

We recently finished what is considered to be the most difficult five-week block in the nursing program. During that block, in a two week-period, we had 48 clinical hours + prep work, a several projects due, and multiple exams (like… 5 or 6 at least) in some very difficult classes (pathophysiology, pharmacology, health assessment, med/surg….). I think everyone in my cohort would agree with me… THIS is what they meant when they told us this was an accelerated nursing program.

So, I figured I would recover after a relaxing weekend and bounce back as a full-force-super-stellar-outta-the-park-killin’-it nursing student.

Only… I definitely haven’t felt that way.

I’m not super stressed, it’s not really style to get worked up about school, but I just don’t feel like I’m excelling. Don’t get me wrong – I’m doing well. My grades are fine. But I just want to be very, very good at this whole nursing thing. And right now, I’m not. For example, a few weeks ago we practiced putting IVs in manikins. I was able to do it, but honestly, it wasn’t pretty. I had to practice many times to get the hang of it, and even still I have to think hard it. I don’t feel like I’m good at it yet. And that is very frustrating. Because I want to be very good at it.  My heart seriously drops at the thought of causing a patient unnecessary discomfort because of something as simple as starting an IV.

Again, I would say that many in my nursing cohort have been feeling similarly. We study hours upon hours for exams (of which we’ve had at least one or two a week for last five weeks or so), only to get a good but not excellent grade. We practice over and over memorizing medication names and indications and side effects and interactions only to draw a blank when the instructor asks us a question. We are all working overtime to try excel. We want to be good at this. What gives?

Over the weekend I came across this video with an audio clip of Ira Glass about being a beginner. He is addressing storytellers (he certainly is an excellent storyteller), but I think the ideas definitely apply to nursing.  It feels like I am in “the gap”… and perhaps it will take a bit of time and a lot of energy, but I just have to believe that all this work that I’m pouring out will, in the end, result in an ability to provide excellent patient care.

“It takes a while. It’s going to take you a while. It’s normal to take a while. And you are going just have to fight your way through that, okay?”

accomplishment?

Is it weird to talk about accomplishments already? Especially only 5 weeks into nursing school?

Maybe.  But I feel like a lot has gone down since I last wrote, and if I don’t take time to celebrate the simple things, I’m afraid I’ll get bogged down. So here’s a little of what I’ve been up to:

•      Completed a class. Yep. It’s over. Took a midterm and a final. Wrote the paper. Did a couple projects. 5 weeks. Yikes.
•       Wrote a short paper about elder self-neglect. I really enjoy writing, whether that is for an academic purpose or otherwise (hence the blog) and I am hoping to continue to write in some way throughout my career as a nurse. If you’re interested, you can read the paper here.
•       Completed 16 clinical hours and 8 service-learning hours in long-term care facilities working with older adults. I think most people know this about me, but I really love to work with the elderly. As far as nursing goes, it is undoubtedly some of the hardest work out there. There are just not enough hands to help in most of these facilities. If anyone is every looking for volunteer opportunities, I highly recommend spending time in nursing homes. There are some truly amazing stories from amazing people there.
•       Ran the Colfax half marathon… my first half marathon! This was one of my New Year’s resolutions… It was such a blast! Many thanks to Christine for encouraging me to sign up and running this with me, to Alana for being an AMAZING coach, and to Miranda and my parents for coming to cheer me on. (My time was 2:04:07… and yes I am very happy with it).

Tomorrow I will be starting 3 new classes, and we have been warned that the next five weeks will be the most intense of the year. It took me three hours to print out the materials and organize the calendars for this next session… ha. Full speed ahead!

week 1 = done!

scrubs + ID

I have officially made it through one week of nursing school.

Information overload. Yowza. I think everyone in my cohort can agree that the amount of information that we have to sort through is incredible. Countless emails, papers to print or sign or bring to lecture (or lab?), reading assignments (8 chapters in a night after being in class literally all day?!), clinical assignments… etc. etc. It’s been a lot, and I’m still trying to navigate how to organize it all in my brain and in my notebooks.

my room... taken over by papers and books

To prioritize what I even need to think about, I have been trying to ask myself: What is really important? What do I need to know, not for the test, but to be a nurse? To be a good nurse? What is going to really affect the people that I am caring for, and what will affect their families? What will affect other health care providers?

How can I use this information to be a good nurse, not just a good nursing student?

I have had to really focus on bringing it all back to that question. This has helped me avoid becoming overwhelmed. I could literally spend hours trying to master all of the information we’ve been given so far, and it’s only been one week! But taking a step back to choose what is really important, focusing on what is essential for caring for patients and for passing the test, has helped me not lose my mind. If I spend my time focused and present while I’m studying, in lecture, and practicing skills in labs, and keep the end in mind (oh, yeah… I’m doing this whole school thing to become a nurse), I have faith will be able to apply this material to my career. That’s the goal, right??

Keeping it all in perspective, our cohort took a study break and had a potluck to celebrate completing one week. I think we have a fun year ahead.

Countdown to class: 1 week!

I cannot believe it’s almost already here. Next Monday, I’ll be starting nursing school. It is surreal. It’s going to be one heck of a year. Because of the nature of my nursing program (as in, they expect us to ONLY BE DOING SCHOOL for the next year) I am still not 100% sure of how my schedule is going to look starting next week. I am prepared for anything.

I have a mentor with my program, and I met with her about a week ago to pick her brain. Meeting with her eased a little nervousness, but also made me highly aware of how on-top-of-it I need to be this next year. Some things on my mind as I get ready:

Schedules and planning = essential

Because the program goes at such a fast pace, things are due all the time. I’m kind of crazy about list-making and writing things in my planner already, so I should not have to worry about this too much.  I use a Moleskin planner, and when I’m in school, I usually schedule my days to the hour. I know it can be crazy, but I will literally forget to go to class if I don’t have it written down (Hey, don’t judge. Even Einstein said that we should never memorize anything we can just look up). I just hope I have enough space in my planner!

·      

     Studying, note-taking, reading…

It took me a while, but during my undergrad I found a system to take notes that really works for me. Generally, I read and outline material in my notebooks before I go to lecture, spend lectures mostly listening and taking very few notes (only filling in the gaps that I missed in my outlines), then reading and rewriting/typing notes later. I am a little concerned about having a good handle on some of the material—it’s been a couple years since I took classes like Anatomy and Physiology—so I have a feeling I’m going to have to do a bit more prep work than I’m used to.

·     

     $$$

I feel like everyone stresses about this, so I know I’m not alone. Nursing school is expensive. Life is expensive. I am up to my eyeballs in scholarship applications, so hopefully some help comes through.  But if it doesn’t, I’m taking out loans, both federal and private, to get me through the year. I’m just going to have to live cheaply (shouldn’t be too hard since it sounds like my social life is going to be at a low for the next year) and take comfort in the fact that it is very, very likely that I will be able to find a job as a nurse when I graduate.

·      Health

I really like to be healthy. Really. A lot. I like to exercise at least once a day and I eat what I think is a pretty healthy diet. I am a firm believer in quiet, alone time to myself (usually at 5am with a cup of coffee… don’t talk to me before that). I have always been all about balance—school is important but burnout is a real thing. I am really hoping that I can maintain balance while I’m in nursing school. I’m currently training for a half marathon, so at the very least I need to keep up my running for a weeks (Colfax Half – it’s on May 18), and after that I want to keep a regular exercise routine. Again, this is when keeping a schedule is probably going to be so important. If I stay focused I think I can stay balanced and healthy (and not lose my mind … haha)

So that’s the scoop as I get ready to go back to school. Anyone have any thoughts on these things? Advice? Please?! As crazy as it all is, I am really excited to get this started.

introductions

Hi, and thanks for checking out my new blog! I believe introductions are in order. I’m Amanda. I’m a nursing student in Denver, Colorado.

I never thought I’d be the type to keep a blog. Who knew they’d be such great tools for networking and sorting through / sharing ideas. But, as I wrote this while I was living in Honduras, I found blogging to be practical and useful. So here we go again.

I spent my undergraduate career studying Spanish and Portuguese. I read some books, traveled a little (I’ve lived some short-term stints in Brazil and Chile, too), and I have become convinced that culture and language permeate and affect all aspects of people’s life, including and especially their health and healthcare.

While completing my language degree, I also chipped away at the various prerequisites to apply to nursing school. It was quite the combination of classes in college: I would spend an hour talking about Cortázar in Spanish Lit, then run off to a cadaver lab, then turn around and spend a class singing some ChicoBuarque tune to work on my Brazilian Portuguese pronunciation.  Not a bad way to spend four years of college.

After graduating in May of 2013, I’ve spent the last year bouncing between a couple different jobs and countries. Now I’m on my way to nursing school. Classes start in about a month. I hope that this blog will be a platform to engage in the conversation about healthcare and it’s potential to improve the lives of individuals – in whatever the language that conversation may be.

coming soon!

blog in process... check back soon for updates on how I'm staying sane in nursing school and my musings on health care. in the meantime, check out my previous blog, A Su Corazón, that I wrote while I was volunteering in the health system in Roatán, Honduras.